Outsourcing Relationships?
Boy, do I need one of these. My poor dog doesn’t get to play fetch often enough.
Then there’s my kids…
But (sigh…) busy parents, are you guilty of outsourcing your relationship with your kids?
I’m not judging, don’t worry. I’ll admit, there are times I’m grateful for the iPhone, the television or video games that I let my kids play with, when I’m extremely involved or busy working on a deadline. But have you noticed a new phenomenon happening during family dinners in restaurants? Something that never happened some ten or fifteen years ago?
You know what I’m talking about, right? Parents talking over dinner, while their 1 year old child sits in a high chair watching Veggie Tales or something like it on their iPad. And as the kids get older, they’re on their on smartphones, texting, facebooking, etc., while the parents talk to each other. Hey, I know I do this from time to time. But my wife and I try not to do this during family time. I guess we’re hoping not to become an entire family that might at least sit together during meals, but all have our eyes glued to our gadgets, engaging with our social networks, while ignoring the people right in front of us–the people we love most.
Kids are growing up thinking this is normal, because unlike old folks from my generation, they have no more idea of what a world without internet, iphones, and iPads, is like than they do a world without oxygen.
What do you think? Do you place gadget limits on yourself, your family, in hopes of staying connected in carbon space? Or am I just being a bit too old school here? I’d love to read your comments!
Joshua Graham is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, winner of the International Book Award and Forward National Literature Award. His thrillers include DARKROOM, LATENT IMAGE and BEYOND JUSTICE, and TERMINUS. Graham's works have been characterized as thought-provoking page-turners.
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Well, if your old-fashioned, so are we. We have a rule of no electronics at dinner, whether we’re home or not. My teenage daughter can give her old mom and dad at least half an hour a day. She doesn’t think it’s right, of course. And I’m pretty sure my husband would prefer to be on a gadget too. But I insist on it. Some day, they will both thank me for making that time family time, I hope.
Melinda
Melinda,
They will thank you, if they value relationships.
My situation is a little different. My children are both grown and with families. My son, DIL, and 2 grandchildren,(3 and 6 months) live in D.C. Most of our communication is by phone, text and pictures sent by text. We also try and skype a couple of times a week. My daughter, SIL and 3 grandchildren (4, 2 and 1) live about 15 minutes . Cath and I text for short messages and for times sake. If we call, I get to talk to 2 little ones…. not that I mind … but sometimes it is a quick answer to a babysitting question. Actually, her oldest 2, Madelyn and Caleb, know my number on her speed dial and call me. LOL I do spend a great deal of time with them as they are close. My kids got cell phones when they started driving. It was great when they both went out of state for college. I know that times have really changed. I have seen kids on dates and they are both texting. Parents have to have some limits and control today that I didn’t have too have when mine were growing up.