In a past life, when I was a director of operations in corporate America, one of the questions I always had to ask myself, when considering disciplinary action for an employee was:  Is he redeemable?  If so, I would work with his manager to create an action plan of improvement and accountability.  If not, well...

Now, back it up several decades.  When I was a kid (some time before the Civil War ;) ) life wasn't quite as convenient as it is today.  This was before email, personal computers, microwave ovens, etc.  While I didn't grow up in poverty, my family was not by any stretch of the imagination wealthy.  I got lots of hand-me-downs, didn't have the latest toys, clothing, etc., and if anything I had broke, guess what?  We didn't just throw it away and replace it.  We mended it.

To that end, there were many patches sewn on my pants, lots of goopy glue used to seal the lips of my talking sneakers, and toys that were dented, dismembered, or otherwise maimed were regarded with special honor, their injuries like battle-scars.

Flash forward nearly half a century later:  My kids have things that if they'd traveled back in time and shown us back then, would have violated Star Trek's Starfleet General Order 1, or  The "Prime Directive."  Kids these days have 3D handheld game consoles, app loaded iPads and smartphones (not my kids, not yet), toys and gadgets that would make our heads spin back in the 70s.  Along with such advanced technology, they have instant access to information (the internet vs. the Dewey Decimal System), communication (mailing a letter to grandma vs. video chatting on Skype), and multimedia production (color printers for their school projects vs. crayons and pencils).

We're now able to produce things so quickly, and so efficiently that for products such as inkjet printers by EPSON, Cannon, or HP, it's gotten to the point that it's less expensive to buy a new color printer, than to get a couple of refills of color ink. But what is lost in all this advancement? Could it be the appreciation of long-term value?  Do we look for instant replacement when something is broken or defective?

Let me give you an example from my son's hobby RC Model Airplanes/Jets.  I have helped my son build, fly, and yes, even crash several planes and jets in the past year.  Some of them seemed damaged beyond repair.  They're not incredibly expensive to the point of being irreplaceable, but they are not so inexpensive so as to replace them as though they were an old toothbrush.  So when we crashed our planes, we decided to see what would happen if we at least tried to repair them.

With some persistence, we got this damaged plane repaired.

But would it fly?

httpvh://youtu.be/I-tGrGBCBhw

Turns out, it flew even better, and my son learned more about its flight characteristics and what it was capable of.

So here is the our latest crashed jet, an F-22.  Can it be repaired?  Will it ever fly again?

All this got me thinking:  What would my son have missed out on if we'd simply tossed his broken plane and replaced it with a new one?  He'd not have learned the character of patience, nor would he have learned the value of redeeming rather than replacing.  In our society today, too often we discard and replace broken things, and even relationships.

When couples have  'lost that loving feeling' too many choose divorce, rather than working on repairing and redeeming.

Even if we're not in a relationship, we might have given up on ourselves.  In my book TERMINUS, there are three characters whose lives are so shattered they seem beyond redemption: Hope Matheson--a tormented suicidal woman, Jonathan Hartwell--a fallen preacher, and Carlito Guzman--a lethal cartel leader.  It almost seems better for the world if they just followed their self-destructive paths.  But who knows what redemptive value they might display if given the chance?

I am thankful that God doesn't have a toss-away attitude towards me, because I've been (and still am, to some degree) pretty broken and defective as a human being.  No, He has a redeeming love for all His children, one that lovingly pieces me back together so that despite my scars, bent fuselage, and  cracked wings, I can fly better than before.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. --Isaiah 40:31

Do you have anything that your glad you've redeemed, repaired or restored, rather than discard?

Let's imagine for a moment that for once in your life, someone finally came to their senses and listened to you?  And take it a few steps further, they made you say--oh, I don't know--the President of the United States?  Every president has, whether they meant to or not, left an impact, a legacy.

Here are a few:

Franklin D. Roosevelt led the United States out of the Great Depression.

John F. Kennedy among other legacies, was known for the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Civil Rights Movement, and more.

Ronald Reagan - The Cold War, Gorbachev, the Berlin Wall

If you had a chance to make a difference in the world, as the President of the United States, what would you want your legacy to be?  Please share in the comments section below

I had a great time chatting with Cyrus Webb, host of Midday Conversations recently.  During the live show we talked about my writing, my life, and a bit about TERMINUS.  Give a listen if you will.  The interview can be heard by clicking the play button at the bottom of this post.

Thanks to Random.org we found 5 winners for TERMINUS.  One will receive a signed paperback edition, and the others will receive an ebook version.

Here are the winners:

1. Jan McKenzie   Signed Paperback 2.  Sarah Hoyt  ebook 3.  Jill Skeet  ebook 4. DeAnna Lilienthal  ebook 5. Garron Riechers  ebook

Congratulations to all the winners! We'll be getting in touch with you via the email address with which you subscribed to Official Joshua Graham Newsletter.

If you didn't win this time, take heart!  We'll be running more giveaways, drawing names directly from the mailing list of the newsletter.  If you haven't already signed up, please do so here: http://joshua-graham.com/newsletter . Not only will you receive a rare-to-occasional email with inside information and release announcements, you'll automatically be entered into all future giveaways.   So far, we've given away copies of DARKROOM, and TERMINUS, and there were will be a lot more to come.

GIVEAWAY TIME!

I'm giving away a signed paperback copy of TERMINUS, and four ebook editions (total of 5 winners).

Here's all you have to do:

1. Sign up for my rare-occasional newsletter:www.joshua-graham.com/newsletter

2. "Like" my fan page: www.facebook.com/j0shgraham

3. "Like" this photo (feel free to share it too, if you wish)

Enter by the midnight Sunday (April 29, 2013) Winners will be randomly selected over the weekend and announced on my blog and fan page.

If you've already done steps 1 and 2, no need to do so again. If you're not sure, please check to see if you're on the list by subscribing. If you've already done so, it will tell you.

Thanks, and best wishes!

If you're the kind that takes offense at the very mention of God, Jesus, the Bible, you might not relate to this post much.  Maybe you will--and that would truly delight me--but I won't be offended if you don't relate, and skip this blog post over.  This post is a reflection on some scriptures I read today that put a burden on my heart.  It convicted me personally, but then I saw this as not only my own need, but that of the entire world, starting from the individual to all circles of society.

Background: This was from the book of Nahum, a prophecy against the the Assyrian capital of Nineveh.  The Assyrians were infamous for their many atrocities, their savage cruelty and torture of the people they conquered, including the northern kingdom on Israel in 721-722 B.C.  The words of the prophet Nahum revolve around the fall of the Assyrian Empire, the climax of which was the destruction of its capital city Nineveh (612 B.C.)

Where now is the lions’ den, the place where they fed their young, where the lion and lioness went, and the cubs, with nothing to fear? ¹² The lion killed enough for his cubs and strangled the prey for his mate, filling his lairs with the kill and his dens with the prey.

Tossing and turning at night, troubled by that one issue that you have no way of knowing, no way to control, and no absolute certainty of the outcome?

Through the years, I've had plenty of things to worry about.  There were months of unemployment, wondering if we'd be able to pay the rent, keep the lights on, life -threatening family health issues, sudden deaths of friends and loved ones, etc.  Lean times, scary times with which I'm sure many can relate.  It was stressing the heck out of me and I could easily lose sleep over it.  After all, what else could I do but my best?

Then I realized, I had a choice.  Not that I could will myself to get a new job, a financial breakthrough, no.  After all my diligence in job hunting, writing books, submitting them to publishers, selling non-essentials, and cutting costs to the marrow, there really was nothing left but two choices:  Despair or chose peace.

The former was definitely a lot simpler, as it is the natural way of human emotion.  In fact, I read an article about a man who had lost his job, and then went to kill his wife, child, and himself because of this despair.  I didn't want to go anywhere near that path.  So I chose peace.  That took faith.  Faith that "All things work together for the good of those who love Him [God] and are called according to His purpose."  I had to chose to believe that, tell myself that every time despair threatened to put its deadly grip on me.

I also remembered the words of a Jewish Carpenter, whose life and teachings I have made my business to follow:

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Look at that saying again:

 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Like compound interest and debt, worry will grow.

I've learned that if you have faith, let go of your worries, and focus on what is truly positive in your life, then you will be able to rest, at least for tonight.   You can't always control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them.  So, if things are tough, you'll want to be in the best possible condition tomorrow to handle the new issues as well as old.

But aside from not worrying, what should I do?  I mean, I'm not the kind of person who fails from lack of effort.  In fact, I've probably failed in many more areas than most.  But now, my family's future hung in the balance.  I could not afford to fail this time.  Looking back just one verse back from Jesus Christ's "Hakuna Matata" phrase in Matthew 6:33, He gives very clear instructions on what to do instead of worry:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things [clothes, food, provisions] will be given to you as well.

I took this to heart and spent the first hours of every day praying, studying the Bible, and meditating on its promises.  But most of all, I remembered this one promise Jesus made:

 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jesus was/is either telling the truth, a liar, or a lunatic.  I know He was telling the truth, because I experienced it myself when I followed His teaching with all my heart.  And today, my life is better than it has ever been before I lost my job in IT.  And how I became a published author whose novels have won multiple awards and hit the tops of several bestseller lists is nothing short of a miracle and evidence not only of God's existence, but of His sense of humor!

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"  I can't.

If you remember nothing else from this post, remember this: Worry weakens, faith strengthens.

How have you coped with worry?  I'd love to hear from you in the comments at the bottom of this page.

The Revolutionary

In a certain country, where certain crimes such as adultery were punishable by death, woman who had been caught in the act was brought before the people to be executed by stoning.

She knelt there, her heart pounding, her throat dry, not only from the fear of the pain she would experience as each rock struck her, but also from the shame, the public humiliation, and the scorn of those who accused her.

Through the jeers, the taunting, she could barely hear herself whisper a prayer, asking for mercy from God, if there even was one. But mercy was not even remotely near the minds of those ready to put her to death. Then, from the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a young man. He was a handsome and muscular man--probably someone who worked construction with his hands. He could certainly inflict a lethal blow. But from the way the stone-wielding religious leaders and law makers regarded him, he must also be a man of considerable intelligence.

One of men from the gallery of accusers handed him a rock, as though giving him the honor of initiating the execution, though the honor seemed a bit insincere. It was as though they were waiting to see what he would do. The young man took the stone and turned to face the woman.

Trying to hold herself steady, despite the trembling, she decided to face her death with whatever last shred of dignity she still had.

And then something happened that caused her and everyone present to gasp in wonder.

The young man, still holding the rock, knelt down and with his finger began to write in the sand. His brow furrowed in concentration as wisps of dust floated into the heat of the sun-scorched afternoon. One by one, the law makers and religious leaders stepped over to see what it was he was writing.

To he woman's astonishment, each of them either scowled, turned pale as salt, or gasped, dropped their stones, and trudged away. One by one. The crowd looking on also came by to read the writing and reacted either by sighing in amazement, laughing, or huffing indignantly.

At that, the strong young man straightened up, turned to the crowd now generally vacated of religious leaders and law makers.

"He that is without sin among you," he said, glancing down at the pile of rocks discarded by the religious leaders and scanning the remnant of the people still present to witness the execution, "let him cast the first stone."

Only a short time had passed when everyone had dropped their stones in the pile at the young man's feet and left. Now, only he and the woman remained. He stepped over to her.

"Where are you accusers?" he said, his eyes intense, looking so deeply into her heart, she feared him more than anyone who had been in the crowd. "Didn't even one of them condemn you?"

She realized now that this was a man of authority, far more than his youthful appearance betrayed. Whoever he was, he had the strength to turn those as powerful as the religious leaders, law-makers, and even a blood-thirsty mob, simply by writing in the dust and making one simple statement. And now, indeed, didn't any of them condemn her? "No, my Lord."

The rock fell from his open palm. His countenance shone like the morning star and love filled his eyes. He stretched out his hand in a gesture of blessing.

"Neither do I. Go and sin no more."

Tears pooled in her eyes as he quietly walked away. She had expected today to be the last day of her life, ending in shame and disgrace. But now, it was as though she was about to embark on an entirely new one.

She rose to her feet to follow after this amazing man who must be some kind of revolutionary that would shake the religious landscape to its very foundations. But then something caught her eye and stopped her.

There.

On the ground were the words the young revolutionary had scratched into the sand.

She stopped breathing for a moment and read them. Now she understood why each of the religious leaders and law-makers had all but fled when he had written them down. It was a list. Their list:

Lied to his wife Stole produce from the market Coveted his neighbor's wife Murdered a man sixty years ago Pretending to believe

For the rest of her days, she devoted herself to following the young revolutionary who spoke against religious hypocrisy and taught about true religion not only with his words, his great deeds, but with his very life.

His name was, and is Jesus.

(A retelling of the Gospel of John, Chapter 8 vv. 1-11)

Have you ever felt tired, no matter how much sleep you get?  How about focus, do you ever find yourself standing in a room, trying to remember what it was you came looking for, or sitting in front of the computer wondering what you're supposed to do next?

In the past year or so, I'd been having some trouble with these issues and more, resulting in stress.  It would lead to exhaustion and even a sense of depression.  So about a year ago, I decided to take to heart the advice I'd received from my doctor, my pastor, my friends, and yes, even my wife (single guys, fear not--I get to keep my man card.  I even get a shiny star on it!)

Here are a five things that have helped me greatly:

1.  Sleep -  Well, duh!  Right?  But I have found that getting six hours of sleep when going to bed before midnight feels a lot better than seven or eight after midnight.  Not sure why, but it seemed to work for me.  Also, before going to bed, make sure not to stare at any LED screens like smartphones, tablets.  Try dimming the lights, because it inhibits melatonin, which is needed to have a good night's sleep.  I work long hours indoors and don't get outdoors much.  So I tried taking breaks and getting some sunlight during the day.  This seemed to help me when I was having trouble falling asleep, even though I was exhausted.

2. Exercise - I had tried many times in the past to join a gym and workout, but it never kept.  The lack of motivation for going by myself, or with my wife never led to any appreciable results, so I figured, why waste time and money just to get no results?

But last year a friend of mine who had been a Marine Drill Sergeant invited me and my wife to join his community boot camp program.  It was BRUTAL!  But it was fun too.  Working out with friends and having someone continually pushing you past your limits did something for me.  I began to feel energetic and focused again.  Tired, sore, aching? Of course, but it always challenged me to go back for more.  Now, about 8 month later, I've lost nearly 20 lbs and need to buy new clothes because all my old ones are too loose.  The best part of it is that I have more energy in general

3.  Laughter and play - So, I realize that I don't laugh out loud enough.  Confession:  Online, when I respond to something with LOL, I don't really laugh out loud.  I am just laughing inside.  However, there's nothing like a really loud belly laugh and a face-splitting smile.  So, I've learned that when I joke around with my kids, and with my friends while playing Texas Holdem, the tension seems to evaporate.  But with all important things in lifestyle, it's a discipline.  Sometimes  I have to make a point of doing this.  So, I've been trying to tell my kids jokes during dinner time, when I had previously been tired, stressed, and naturally quiet and severe.  Lightening things up helps everyone in the family.  And I've found that it starts with me.

4. Prayer - I don't know if you have any particular faith, but for me, I've found that taking some time each day to isolate myself, clear my mind of any and everything, and focusing on God and His word (the Bible) has helped me put things into perspective like nothing else.  Why is this?  Because for just that short amount of time, I'm not focusing on myself, my problems, and my responsibilities.  It's the one part of the day I can take a deep breath, relax, and know that all things work together for the good of those who love Him (God), and are called according to His purpose.    I learned this five years ago in 2008, when I had lost my job, was recovering from several recent deaths in the family, was about to lose my house, and was having no "luck" finding a new job.  So I spent a LOT of my free time praying and studying the Bible.  When I look back to how frightening a time that should have been, I can honestly say that I had real peace.  While fully aware of the gravity of my situation (I had/have a family to provide for) and diligently searching for work, I remember that all my anxiety had been replaced by faith in God.  Whenever I felt tempted to fear or despair, I just recited promises in the scripture:  I am more than a conqueror, He [God] is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him, He has  plans to prosper me, not to harm me,  plans to give me a future filled with hope.  By 2010, I became a full time writer with an income that exceeded any salary I had made in the 20 years prior.  Prayer gave me not only peace, but the power to believe in and receive miracles.

5. Water  - I never realized how much I needed water until I finally started drinking enough of it.  Not just any beverage, they don't count.  But pure water.  I started drinking about 8 cups a day and found myself alive, feeling clean and strong inside and out.  It helped my fatigue and helped clear up my skin.

Considering that the human body is anywhere from 50%-70% water, It's amazing what a difference in your energy, sense of physical and even emotional wellness can depend on having enough.  And yet, I never thought I had a problem with this.  But when I started disciplining myself to drink enough, the benefits were amazing.  My doctor told me that if I drink coffee, it doesn't count (darn!)  For every cup of coffee I drink, I have to replace that with the same amount of water just to break even in my water intake requirements.  So 12 ounces of coffee must be replaced with 12 ounces of water, and that replacement water doesn't count towards my daily 8 cups.  It's not that bad, once you make a habit of it.  And, if you're a person sitting at a computer for long hours, you'll find that drinking the right amount of water throughout the day will force you to get up, stretch your legs, back and neck, and walk...to the bathroom.  :)

So, these are five things that helped me get my energy back.  Do you have any other suggestions?  I'd love to hear about them in the  comments below.

As anyone who finds it difficult to make enough time to whittle down their TBR list will tell you, sometimes multi-tasking by listening to audiobooks is the only way to accomplish this.

I'm happy to announce that the audiobook edition of TERMINUS is currently in production.  It's going to be read by the supremely talented Daniel Dorse.  The release date should be Summer 2013, which is only a few months away.

In addition to that, the audiobook edition of Once We Were Kings is also currently in production, read by another fantastic voice talent Chandler Craig.

These are the first full-length novels of mine to go into production for audiobook and it's quite an enjoyable experience working with voice talents of such high calibre and professionalism.

Keep an eye on this blog for the actual release dates.

Two of my short fiction audiobooks are currently available through audible:  The Accidental Exorcist, and The Accidental Healer.

Do you enjoy audiobooks?  Which are your favorites?  Do you have a favorite narrator?  Let me know in the comments section below.